The very thought of meeting a Neurologist can be quite nerve-raking! I got myself to see one yesterday, not only after a few days of fretting and postponing getting an appointment…it actually took putting some will power and lots of prudence in place, to take over the matter!
At last, as I sat waiting for my turn to meet the Neurologist, anxious what he’d say, the door to the chamber right next to where I sat opened, and the heart-rending shrieks and cries of a kid filled the entire waiting area! I was thrown out of my mental agony, as my heart went out to the suffering child on the other side of that door. The door kept opening and closing as the Pediatrician’s assistants moved in or out, and the shrieks left me shaken each time!
But strangely, it didn’t stop there. It surprised me beyond measure that I somewhat drew some kind of solace from the cries, by way of digression from my constant torture from all the mental agony I was going through! Soon (a few shrieks later) her treatment was over, and the little girl walked out holding her mom’s hand…still crying!
Awashed with guilt, I sat there, wondering how our psyche works, how it can alleviate our anxieties and pains by relating them to others’.
No, not even for a moment did I take pleasure in her cries, yet I can’t shrug off the chagrin gnawing me since!…That this chagrin serves at the same time, to abate my post visit anxieties and keeps me immune to the pressing issues that need all my immediate focus, is yet another twist in it all! Arrgh!!